Learn To Bite Your Tongue: If You Continue to Hate, When'll You Love?

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 4 January 2024 “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” ― Ernest Hemingway Once the great mystic Fariduddin Attar was concocting and mixing different fragrances to make attar (perfume). His family was into making perfumes. So, he was called Attar. He always chose a secluded place while experimenting with different types of fragrances. Someone asked him why he always chose a secluded place while concocting a perfume. Attar said, "So that, I could smell and listen without any noise." The man was surprised. He asked Attar, "I can understand the smell part as you need seclusion while smelling a perfume but the listening part is unintelligible to me. What does listening have to do with making perfumes? "The enlightened Attar said, "all these concoctions and liquids are boiled and boiling water creates different levels of sounds that can be discerned by those who're too attentive and perceptive." In other words, you listen to discern. "Kahin Chatki Kali Koi, Main Yeh Samjha Ke Tu Aayee" (Even the softest sound of blossoming of a bud gives me an idea that you've arrived). We're all in the habit of butting in and we seldom allow others to complete their sentences. There's a Hadees (Muhammad's teachings): If you talk all the time, when will you listen? It's like, if you continue to hate, when'll you love? So, listen at least as much as you talk because listening is also a sign of respect. Biblical proverbs are full of listening and its positive ramifications: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion (Proverbs 18: 2) or If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame (Proverbs 18:13). Neurologists have coined the term, Neural Rest. When you listen, you give rest to your neurons and feel better but when you talk, especially, when you talk incessantly, your neurons are stressed out and agitated. Listening provides tranquillity and serenity to your whole being whereas talking tires you. Many issues in life can be sorted out if we practise listening earnestly and carefully. Tiffs of lovers and spouses can be resolved if they listen. Rumi said in Greek, Tene Kenza Virni Vic Mest Eloqua (Listening is more difficult than speaking). Yes, there are four exiguous poems of Rumi in Greek, albeit in rudimentary Greek as he spent the last phase of his life in Turkey and was also entombed in Konya (Turkey). Turkey touches Greece. He picked up a smattering of Greek in his last nine years in Turkey. In The Notebook of a Jurist, the legendary judge, Muhammad Karim Chhagla wrote that to be a good judge, listening is the fundamental trait to develop. Let the other person complete what he or she wants to say. Then you open your mouth. To listen is to understand the perspectives of others. Listening is the key to acquiring wisdom. To quote the British playwright Tom Stoppard, "Men make a botch of things as they tend to ejaculate quite often" (pun intended, in archaic English, the word 'ejaculate' meant 'to say something suddenly and thoughtlessly'). You all know the prevalent and more common connotation of the word 'ejaculation.' ----- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/tongue-hate-love/d/131450 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism