Courtesy, Like A Woman's Saree And Her Long Hair, Is Never Out Of Fashion

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 17 January 2024 Adab Se Baat Keejiye, Nafasat Se Pesh Aiye / Shakhsiyat Mein Chaar Chaand Laga Deti Hai Shaistagi (Speak courteously, behave in a refined way/ Etiquettes add to your persona). I always quote Mohsin Naqvi's famous Sher whenever I feel that the other person could have been more courteous or when my own behaviour towards someone lacks courtesy and refinement. 'Always speak politely to an enraged dragon,' is a Cantonese proverb that will always remain relevant. Once at a swanky restaurant in Poona's Koregaon Park, I saw an obscenely rich man treat a waiter: 'Ae Sun, Do Roti Laa.' I was flabbergasted. How could a person treat someone so disparagingly? Wasn't a waiter an individual with a sense of self-respect and dignity? How could that uncouth rich man treat him (waiter) so pejoratively? This was sacrilegious to me. So disturbed by this type of unrefined behaviour, I couldn't finish my dinner and left the restaurant. Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up: Just two words, 'Speak Politely' can transform human civilization. They sure can. We often quote Turkish poet Nazim Hikmat's famous line on good manners: Kenale Aft Weir En Done' Epnoi Heraqat, De Epla Shin Ebareen (My soft words are not just meant for my beloved, but they're for all creatures). The eccentric genius Raghupati Sahay 'Firaq' Gorakhpuri would use 'Aap' even for his dog! Though extremely short-tempered, he'd call a person Sang-e-Benoon (Persian way of calling an individual, a dog/ Sag: Kutta / Dog; So, a Sang sans Noon is a SAG: Dog). Pristine Persian, a language of etiquette, had no cuss words and imprecations. Its way of addressing a person is ultra-refined: Faqat Zabaan-e-Huma-Shuma (Only a language of Aap and Hum). Readers may have noticed that one who speaks impeccable Urdu, always uses HUM for himself or herself and AAP (never Tu/Tum) for others. To quote Urdu poet Nawab Shefta of Rampur Riyasat (he patronised Mirza Ghalib): Apni Zauq-e-Nazar Ko Bhi Kabhi Tum Na Kaha/ Nafast Ke Alag Hi Usool Hua Karte Hain (I never used Tum even for my beloved/ Refined behaviour has its own rules and principles). So very true! But in these unrefined times living with riffraff, courtesy, like non-violence, is often mistaken for timidity and cowardice. It's not. Politeness is always a sign of dignity, not subservience. Mark my words, courtesy, like a woman's saree and her Rapunzel-like hair, will never be out of fashion. ---- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/courtesy-woman-saree-hair-fashion/d/131532 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism