A Comment on the Article "Men Are Not Always Cruel and Women Are Not Always Oppressed"

By Ghulam Ghaus Siddiqi, New Age Islam 26 July 2023 Equal Reforms Are Needed For Both Men and Women Main Points: 1. Miss Kaniz Fatma highlights injustice and brutality in her article, emphasizing the need for women to reform and respect men's rights. 2. She highlights three instances of violent killings of men, but most reformers focus on a single perspective. 3. Social media users often discuss divorce, assuming men are solely responsible, overlooking women's moral education, leading to reprehensible decisions. 4. Marriage success depends on both partners being prepared and content, rather than dishonest or unprepared. Force alone is not enough for a happy marriage. 5. To prevent violent incidents, it is crucial to promote awareness and reform both males and females, addressing the root causes of these issues. ------ The three occurrences listed by Miss Kaniz Fatma in her article are unquestionably striking illustrations of injustice and brutality. She stressed the urgent need to reform women and teach them to respect the rights of men, just as efforts are being undertaken to reform males. She gave three examples of women who killed males violently. These kinds of incidents are frequent, yet the majority of our reformers continue to consider just a single perspective in their writings and speeches, omitting the necessity of reforming women. Nowadays, some social media users think it would be a good idea to discuss divorce with everyone. In such a discussion, it tends to be assumed that males are always to blame for the circumstances leading to divorce. Then, only men are condemned and instructed to change themselves, ignoring the moderate path that demands that women also be morally schooled to behave in a calm and rational manner so that the situation does not result in divorce. I totally concur that hastily uttering the words of divorce and giving up on possibilities for reconciliation are extremely reprehensible and bad decisions. Islam has made it clear that it dislikes divorce while simultaneously allowing it in very dire and inevitable circumstances between couples. Although Islam did not ban divorce and did not require a man and woman to lead a forced marital life, it is known through tradition that divorce is one of the lawful things that Allah Almighty dislikes the most. It is absolutely a good idea to talk about women's rights, but doing so at the expense of men's rights and without focusing on the equal reformation of both men and women amounts to tacitly condoning the crimes that women commit against males in our society, such as the occurrences listed in Miss Kaniz Fatma’s article. Looking at the reports of the reform movements, it is obvious that equal treatment in the case of reforming both genders is seriously missing. Sometimes someone only seems interested in seducing or leading her astray by making them hostile towards men. There could be several reasons, one of which could be to instil the idea in Muslim women that Muslim males are unjust towards them. We also know that certain people have reduced women to nothing more than objects for display and spectacle in the name of so-called freedom and hypocritical respect, and they are actively and ostensibly leading a campaign to sell and advertise her honour and dignity. In light of the circumstances, the path of moderation and equality requires that our culture make sure that both men and women are made aware of their responsibilities whenever we address issues that impact men and women differently or when we talk about their rights. A one-sided reformation focus is ineffective. Additionally, portraying males solely as oppressors would be detrimental to our society. In this day and age of social media and mobile technology, young girls in our culture who encounter one-sided viewpoints and anti-male remarks also experience a derogatory impact on their thoughts that men are frequently violent and harsh, which results in them developing negative feelings towards men. As a result, it is essential to educate women about their own rights and obligations in addition to teaching men about a woman's rights. This approach does not need to be used to hypocritically mislead women into developing a hostile attitude towards males. Instead, it can be used to advance gender fairness and moral behaviour. The sad thing is that, due to how evil-minded today's culture has become when some people discover that Islamic texts teach women morality and promote religious and worldly wellbeing, they mistakenly believe or spread propaganda that women in Islam are oppressed, forced, and have no freedom at all. Their only goal is to associate their own negative impression with what is actually favourable and best for women. They adopt servitude to evil Nafs and desires in exchange for their slavery to the Lord Almighty because they don't grasp what it truly means to be free. They believe that this is their freedom and prefer enslavement to Nafs than servitude to God while luring women to follow suit. As a result, they fall short in their endeavours to genuinely reform society. Instead of focusing on reforms for both sexes and preparing them for fulfilling their respective obligations and responsibilities towards one another, they could be seen wasting all of their intellectual energy on fruitless debates, such as the one about why only men are allowed to divorce and not women. Some people can be seen sticking to their innate propensity to question the divine plan, using their created faculty of thought as a weapon against the One who created brains and intellects. Islam has never condemned asking inquiries or thinking about ideas in order to gain knowledge of divine wisdom. I frequently ponder the wisdom of the divine law that grants men the exclusive right to pronounce the divorce decree while excluding women. Even though I do not fully understand the reasoning of certain of Allah’s commands, the salutary response that I receive is that His divine utterance is true, unalterable, and beneficial for all ages. This is because the Holy Qur'an teaches that one must trust that Allah Almighty's divine utterance is true and just. Our minds and intellects were formed by Allah Almighty, thus if our minds logically consider and concur with the divine Laws, then our intellectual outcomes are acceptable. However, when our minds are unable to comprehend the wisdom and goodness of the divine plan and Laws, we believers must reject the demands of our minds and submit to the divine Laws and mandates. The history of minds indicates that they are not transcendent from errors; however, the divine directives of Allah Almighty are completely free from any potential faults. Our rational approach may lead us to believe that Allah Ta'ala has created only one path to be released from the contract of marriage. This one path indicates that only men, not women, have the right to utter the words of divorce. On the other hand, Allah has created two ways to enter into a marriage contract. The two routes here signify that both men and women must give their agreement in order to engage into a marriage contract and establish a married partnership. Why is divorce a possibility, one could wonder. One argument makes the point that since different human needs can arise for a man and a woman at different times, there are some circumstances in which a man and a woman may feel compelled to break off their marriage. Islam commands them to part ways amicably and peacefully when they are in a severe circumstance. In all compulsive circumstances, they are not compelled by Islam to maintain their marriages. In Islam, men have the authority to declare a divorce, but women have the option of obtaining Khula if they don't wish to stay in their marriages. There are more methods that women can employ in accordance with traditional jurisprudence to gain access to divorce. These include conditional or delegated divorce [Talaq-e-Tafwiz], where the wife puts a clause in her marital contract granting her the right to pronounce the words of divorce independently in certain predetermined situations. According to Islam, spouses should work to make their union successful and enjoyable. In order to make a marriage successful, Islam established rights and obligations for both husbands and wives towards one another. It also stated rewards for those who exercise patience in the face of adversity. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is reported to have said in a hadith, "Best among you is one who is best to his wife, and I am best among you in my dealings with my wives." (At-Tirmidhi). While Islam does not like divorce, Islam does not ban it either. Even though Islam dislikes divorce, it does not completely ban it. Instead, Islam instructed the spouses on how to reconcile and, if that failed, how to leave a relationship when it was no longer possible. If one applied logic to the Islamic perspective, they might come to the conclusion that marriage will only be successful when both partners are ready for it. The pressure won't work if even one of them is dishonest or unprepared. Force could not make marital life successful. The hearts of the spouses must be content and at peace with one another for a happy marriage. When a husband and wife are not living in harmony and love, when their cohabitation leads to severe conflicts, violence, or unfaithfulness, and when all attempts to make things better between them have failed, they may decide to file for divorce. But even then, Islam instructs them to carry out this process with kindness. Allah Almighty says in the Quran: “And when you have divorced women, and they have reached [the end of] their waiting period, then either retain them as recognized or release them as recognized. And do not retain them with wrongful intent resulting in cruelty on your part. And whoever does this actually wrongs his own self…” (2:231) The divorce was momentarily the topic of our conversation. We must now move on to the main issue. Why do cases of divorce, violence against men based on gender, and violence against women based on gender occur? Before concentrating on reforms that will help both men and women, we should take into account its causes as opposed to just one-sided male reformation. There is no denying the fact that men are largely ignorant of their commitments whereas women are typically completely unconscious of their rights and empowerment. The movements for reform continue to gain some traction among men, but among women, there are essentially no forums for talking about or reminding them about this issue. Given the scenario, particularly the three incidences stated in Miss Kaniz Fatma's article, we must promote awareness for both men and women, which means we must try to reform both males and females in order to prevent violent incidents. ---- A regular columnist with NewAgeIslam.com, Ghulam Ghaus Siddiqi Dehlvi is a classical Islamic scholar [Aalim, Faazil and Mutakhassis Fi al-Adab al-Arabi wa al-Ulum al-Shariah] with a Sufi background and an English-Arabic-Urdu Translator. Urdu Article: Men Are Not Always Cruel and Women Are Not Always Oppressed مرد ہمیشہ ظالم نہیں ہوتے اور عورت ہمیشہ مظلوم نہیں ہوتی URL: https://newageislam.com/islamic-society/comment-men-cruel-women-oppressed/d/130347 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism