Muslim Marriages Are Not Made in Heaven

By Arshad Alam, New Age Islam 23 August 2023 That’s What The New Season Of ‘Made In Heaven’ Is Telling Us Main Points: 1. In one of its episodes, the story focusses on the issue of Muslim polygyny. 2. Critics have slammed the episode for stereotyping Muslims and pandering to the Hindu right-wing propaganda. 3. Muslims need not become squeamish when problematic issues like polygamy are highlighted in the media. 4. Such portrayals will continue as long as polygamy is sanctioned. ------- 'Made in Heaven’ / Photo: Amazon.in ------ The recent serial on an OTT platform is the subject of much discussion within Muslim circles and possibly elsewhere too. The second season of “Made in Heaven”, in one of its episodes tells the story of a Muslim mother, having to witness the second marriage of her husband. She appears to be a willing participant initially, personally overseeing arrangements for the wedding. Towards the end, her inner turmoil almost consumes her; she attempts to end her life. Saved in the nick of time by a wedding planner, she decides to fight for her rights, not as a Muslim woman but as an Indian citizen. She tells her husband that she will go to the courts because just like any other woman, she is also entitled to seek justice under the Indian Constitution. The episode ends there but the debate of the chatterati hasn’t seized hence. The first objection is that makers of the episode are stereotyping Muslim women as being eternally oppressed. The argument is that Muslim women are always shown as being victims and at the mercy of their men. Let us look into this allegation more carefully. It is true that the Muslim female character only discovers her agency much later in the episode. But what is she supposed to do when her husband (and his family) is hell bent on taking another wife? At one point, her mother-in-law, sensing her agony, tells her that polygyny is allowed in Islam and there is nothing wrong in what her son is doing. She also tells her that if she is too perturbed by it, then the only way out is to request for divorce. The woman reasons that doing so would further make her vulnerable as she would lose the custody of her children. We see, therefore, that she had no real choice, even if she wanted to make one. Those who cry Islamophobia at every problematic representation of Muslim women need to understand the structural violence within which many such women are situated. Marrying up to four women (at a time) is sanctioned by Islam and if a Muslim man has the means and wants to exercise this choice, then there is nothing that can stop him. One can certainly argue that instances of polygamy are there in other religious communities but this does not take away from the fact that this practice exists in Muslim society too. And it cannot be denied that women do not really like to be in such a situation. The second objection has been that since there was only one episode on Muslim marriage so the portrayal of polygyny could have been entirely avoided as the majority of Muslims are, empirically speaking, monogamous. The critics have argued that a singular focus on polygyny dovetails neatly with the Hindu right-wing claim that all Muslim men have four wives. The problem with this criticism is that it is picking out a single episode rather than seeing it in the context of the whole serial. Made in Heaven Season 2 picked up myriad social issues such as class, caste, alternative sexuality, religion, etc. And it cannot be denied that the issue of polygamy is a matter of serious concern for Muslim women across the globe. Let us not forget that one of the directors was Zoya Akhtar, herself a Muslim. So, in a way, she was putting forward the predicament of Muslim women by telling the story of her own community. What can possibly be wrong with that? Denying that such a problem exists will not take Muslim critics very far. The third objection and perhaps the most important one is about the dialogue that the female character has with her husband—about approaching the court and seeking the same rights that other Indian women have. Critics have pointed out, and perhaps rightly so, that this is an allusion to the ruling establishment’s propaganda that they are out to save Muslim women from the tyranny of Muslim men. It is argued that this was the very tone in which the Act banning triple Talaq was passed. Ending the episode on such a note, some have argued, is nothing but an endorsement of the government’s meddling with the religious affairs of Muslims. While such analytical connections can be made, shouldn’t we be asking the more fundamental question of whether the Muslim law is in need of reform? Most of the criticism has come from a section of Muslim women themselves, but alas they have all remained silent when it comes to taking a position on reforming the Muslim personal law. The problem that Muslim women face with regard to divorce, inheritance, custody, etc. is perhaps lost on such commentators. If Muslim societies around the world have reformed their laws by recognizing the substantive rights of women, why can’t Indian Muslims do the same? We talk about stereotyping of Muslims but do not realize that such a problem is also because of our reluctance to move ahead with the times. Muslim women are vulnerable in marriages due to unequal rights and privileges; it is a fact and not a mere opinion. And if such a vulnerability is represented in the media, how is it then leading to stereotyping? This wouldn’t have become an issue in the first place had Muslims resolved to make corrective changes in their religious laws. Why should there be any problem if a Muslim woman wants to exercise her constitutional right over what she has been promised in her religion? She need not be schooled into getting her ‘priorities’ right. Also, the huge reluctance of the community to move ahead with the times is costing it dear. If Indian Muslims continue to argue that their religious laws are divine and cannot be changed for eternity, then there is nothing left to argue. Any conversation can only move forward if Muslims become humble and start to recognize that like all religious laws, Islamic jurisprudence is also man-made and hence liable to change. As the female protagonist reminds her mother-in-law: “Slavery is also permitted in Islam, but no one keeps slaves now.” Why can’t we develop a similar moral antipathy towards polygyny? ------ A regular contributor to NewAgeIslam.com, Arshad Alam is a writer and researcher on Islam and Muslims in South Asia. 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