Gratitude and Regret Must Be Expressed Wholeheartedly

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 18 October 2022 “Chand Alfaaz Aap Ki Zindagi Ko Badal Dete Hain, Jaise Chand Lafz Aap Ki Zindagi Ko Masal Bhi Dete Hain." (A couple of words change your life, just the way a few words can rub you the wrong way!) Urdu humorous writer Latif Ghonghi Gratitude and regret are two words that can transform your persona and both must be expressed wholeheartedly. Until we express them generously, we cannot feel the deep sense of joy that comes from within. It's simply indescribable. Famous Urdu writer, the late Intizar Hussain wrote that when he was very young, he had a habit of never saying sorry to anyone despite his (childish) faults and follies. One day, his Ustad (teacher) told him that if he never said sorry to anyone, no one would ever say sorry to him. That magical advice instantaneously clicked. Mian Intizar began to say sorry after mischievously tearing the pages from his friends' copies and they too stopped complaining. This worked two ways. His bad habit came under control and there were less complaints against him with the teachers. We seldom understand the importance of seemingly simple things until we realise their far-reaching influence in all walks of life. The saying that 'sorry and thanks can take you far ' is a very apt one. Arabs believe that those who are stingy in using the words Shukriya/Shukraan (Arabic for thanks) and 'Khata Mua'af' (sorry in Arabic) are never generous by nature. 'Jo Na Kahe Shukriya/Dil Uska Na Samandar Na Dariya' (Who doesn't say thanks, has a heart which is neither a sea nor a river). This poetic Urdu aphorism drives home the significance of the simple word 'thanks'. In uber-refined French, English and Persian cultures, people are judged by their munificent as well as judicious use of thanks and sorry. People who don't say thanks and sorry are called gauche (French for ugly, clumsy and awkward, now generously used in English). These two words not only take a person far in life, they also give depth to our personality and bring it to a T. Thanks and sorry often show that we care for others. They evince our sense of gratitude and a genuine feeling of regret. The caring and meticulous side of one's personality is revealed by these two seemingly plain and banal words, uttered in utmost earnest. They sound so simple but in their simplicity lies a horizon of meaning, care, love, empathy, courtesy and all those traits that are desirable in an individual. Always remember, life consists of small things but those very small things make life much bigger. Ocean comprises innumerable drops, though a drop out of the ocean may have no value. Chhoti-Chhoti Baton Se Hi Banta Hai Ye Jagat (The world is made up of small things). Dhanyavaad Khaane Mein Namak Jaisa Hai/ Iske Bina Bhojan Feeka Hai (Thanks is like salt in meals/Food is tasteless sans it). Remember this and use these two words profusely and prolifically. You'll be liked by all and become a toast, nay cynosure, of all eyes. Lastly, women love courteous and chivalrous men who say thanks and sorry, but dislike their overuse! Men also appreciate this quality in cultured women and long for their congenial company. Such trivia may work in forging nice and healthy relationships (with the opposite gender)! ----- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/gratitude-regret/d/128204 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism