Superficiality Of Digital 'Relationships'

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 2 April 2025 A few days ago, an editor friend of mine sent a quote: I'm not in favour of Facebook friends who make Facebook enemies for me. It was attributed to the British-American poet W H Auden. While it cannot be W H Auden's quote as he passed away in 1973, long before FB came into being, there cannot be two views about the profundity of this pithy observation. It highlights the importance of genuine connections in the virtual world. Photo Credit: From Files In an era dominated by social media, where friendships are often measured by the number of online connections, this quote brings attention to the inherent superficiality of these digital relationships. It expresses the displeasure towards those individuals who, instead of fostering camaraderie, foster discord by creating enemies through their actions or words. The words in the quote serve as a reminder that true friendships should be based on trust, respect, and unity, not on the creation of a divisive online environment. I may sound condescending, even disparaging, but let me state candidly that the 'friendships' and 'bonds' on FB, Instagram and even WhatsApp, lack warmth unless you frequently interact with those friends outside your screen domain. Friendship, like love, requires physical presence. Social media often emphasizes the quantity of connections over their quality. It's common to have hundreds or even thousands of "friends" or followers online. However, research suggests that humans can only maintain meaningful relationships with a limited number of people—typically around 150, known as Dunbar's number. On social media, one constantly tries to create an image that's not actually his/her image/persona. Here, I'd like to quote W H Auden's genuine quote, "The image of myself which I try to create in my own mind in order that I may love myself is very different from the image which I try to create in the minds of others in order that they may love me." Those who're super-active on social platforms are aware of the dichotomy between self-acceptance and the desire for external validation. Moreover, instant friends on FB also degenerate into enemies. Someone aptly said that on social media, one makes more enemies and less friends. Faceless communication also engenders miscommunication. FB/ WhatsApp or any damn social media is tailor made for instant gratification but not good for a long-term goal. When a journalist of an Urdu daily from Calcutta asked poet-lyricist Nida Fazli whether he had a presence on social media, Nida said, " Dost aur dushman zindagi ne bahut diye/ Nahin chahiye aur dosti ya dushmani mujhe " (Life has already given me many friends and foes/ I don't long for more friendships and animosity). Nida breathed his last in 2016. ... A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/digital-relationships-facebook-friends/d/135036 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism